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X
Saturday Morn.
She is gone. I will open the closet and release You. Did I stay longer than I
promised or than you expected? I could not avoid it. An innocent and blooming creature,
whose mind pure ingenuous and uncontaminated, was
‸ is susceptable of every tender impression, and might easily be ledd a captive in the chains of love, but her destiny has perhaps otherwise
decreed. Her understanding, may be perverted and her heart corrupted by a vicious education,
by the levities of fashion and the glitter of wealth, and she may experience the fortune
of the greater number of her Sex, in being wedded to Avarice or insensibility, and in
feeling ‸ ing no repugnance to the union, nor sorrow at her lot.
She has just parted from her me, and if you will not be offended, I will
tell you that I parted from her with reluctance. Women, are, in general, most happy
in the Company of each other. There is less necessity of a reserve ‸ & caution and constraint
in their conversation, but on the other hand a Man is a being whom a woman
cannot but regard with a certain degree of timidity and apprehension, and, if she be
his lover there is still a greater necessity for vigilance and Circumspection. My own
experience has taught me this divination, at least such, till very lately, did I imagine
to be true, but I must confess that my sentiments are now somewhat altered, and
I believe that if a woman be conscious of innocent intentions, and has reason to confide
implicitly in the honour of her lover, she will find her excessive caution
‸ willingly excessive caution superfluous
What is there in the bottom of my heart which I would not consent to
‸ willingly unfold to you
Am I conscious of any Sentiments that either shame or prudence should induce me
to conceal; and is there ‸ wanting any additinal proof or assurance of the Sincerity and Rectitude
of my friend. In his presence I am equally sure in his absence. I feel no embarrassment
or uneasiness at his caresses. They are the natural expressions of a passion, not less
pure than ardent, and to discouraged or forbid them would be senseless and
ungenerous. Or rather they would be promiscuous, since they would occasion a
belief that these liberties are criminal. Whereas, they are, in themselves indisputably
harmless, and are to be dreaded only as they pave the way for greater and more
flagrant licenses. But what have I to fear? Precautions are useful only to those
who, have reason to suspect themselves, who find that appea to be guilty opportunities
‸ to commit it are only wanting. But this is far from being my condition, nor have I need to
check the laudab innocent expressions of a laudable Attachment. I do not start
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as if terrified by the sight of an Asp, when my friend clasps me to his bosom and
presses his lips with mine, because I place equall confidence on my own and
on his uprightness. Suspicion and distrust! Avaunt ye horrid spectres! Your aid is
unnecessary, is pernicious. It is in reality impossible that I should have occasion for them
for their appearance would instantly annihilate my love, and against the
blandishments of one that is indifferent or detested, what woman can require
an Auxiliary?
Will thou, my love, ever abuse this confidence? No, I shall as soon suspect a
Mountain of an inclination to move from his seat, as thou to overstep the limits
of decorum. And am I not supported in this implicit reliance on your honour by
the unquestionable verdict of experience. Have you not been exposed to all the
fascinations of opportunity? Have you not reposed for guiltess hours, for hours guiltless
even in Imagination, in the arms of unsuspecting and unguarded beauty. When
all your senses were alive and active. When sleep, the friend of innocence, was banished
to a distance. When you heard nothing but the voice of tenderness, and saw nothing
but the smiles
‸ glances of benignity and ‸ the Smiles of condescention? And is not yet my
purity, and thy fidelity inviolate? What then have to fear? Surely nothing.
What motive can there be to reserve or constraint? None can I discover.
But have I not caught you in the snare which I laid for you? Have
I not accomplised my wishes, in ingaging you in a critical disquisition? But
what supineness! I do not endeavour to profit by the Advantage which I
have obtained, but ‸ I am affraid that you have already escaped, through my
egregious negligences, from the toils, in which, I had, with such expence of
time and pains, intangled you. I know that what I have just written
will afford you an opportunity, to exert your powers of pathetic eloquence, of
which you will not fail to take advantage. You will again give the reign to
passion and the Sceptre to depondencey. You will again plunge me into tears
and oppress, with unsupportable affliction by your horrid pictures of futurity.
But why will my friend thus causeless afflict himself and me? How often must
I charge you to forbear? To speak the language of reason, and content and Magnani=
mity. O that you were now a Witness to the serene gayety, the sprightly composure of
your Harriet, at this ‸ happy moment.
[gap]
See her sitting at the Writing table
Satisfaction depicted in her countenance, and betokened ever by the motions of her
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quill, that meanders through the page with such dexterity, that, it reaches the
bottom, almost as soon as it begins it progress at the top. Its carreer appears to be
finished almost as soon as it is begun, and fin my fingers perform their part
with ease dexterity and steadiness to which it is plain, by visible and undeniable
tokens, that yours are too often strangers. How must you be agitated, when
even your fingers, so long habituated to the use of the pen, are almost disabled
from performing their accustomed office. Let my example serve your emulation
and endeavour to display, the same evenness in your characters and Sentiments,
and
[gap]
a to amuse your Harriet by your wit, as well as astonish and confound
her by your eloquence. Too frequently my friend, have you appeared before me
in the solemn pall of tragedy, and spread infectious melancholy round you
It is time to throw aside the buskin and assume the Sock, and dissipate, by
chaste and pleasing Levities, the dictates of Thalia, the gloom which has hitherto
overspread your letters, and which have testifyed the inspiration of Melpomene.
Do not so hastily desert the volumes of Moliere, or glance, with such contemptuous
rapidity, over the pages of Belinda's part. Withdraw your attention from the
plaintive and voluptuous Eloisa, by whom no virtuous sentiment was ever inspired,
and watch, with all imaginable anxiety, the momentous vicissitudes of a game at
Ombre. Meditate no longer on the sorrows of Electra and Orestes, nor mingle tears
with those of the wife of Hector and the Mother of Astyanax, but let gayety
mingled with tenderness flow from your pen. And when you call forth the tears
be careful also to awaken the Smiles of your Harriet. By these means may your
letters be rendered still more acceptable to me, and your own inquietude be stifled or
diminished, and therefore I intreat you to pay some regard to my injunction. If you
will continually disobey me, shall I not begin, at length, to question your fidelity, and
in consequence, renounce your allegiance? and this I suppose will be a terrible
disaster, will convert the visionary into a Maniac, and croud his fancy with
horrid images of self-inflicted vengeance, and destruction.
And so you will not consent to become my preceptor in the learned
languages? And you think that the time which which would necessarily, be spent in
learning them, would be uselessly employed. I doubtless must be of the same opinion
since I have no opportunity to appeal from this tribunal to another, and I cannot
form a judgment for myself, without a previous acquaintance with the literature of
as an opinion, with regard to the beauty or deformity of an object, can be formed by only by
looking at it, but you will not furnish me with the means of obtaining this knowledge.
My friend, it seems, will not suffer my eyes to be fixed on any other object than himself
while he is present; and no language can be orally taught
communicated, but yet he has not forgotten
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that, in quallity of tutor, his visits will necessarily be more frequent than heretofore,
and that he shall enjoy more frequent opportunities, of penetrating, with audacious eye,
the folds by which the bosom of his Mistress is attempted to be hidden. How do
thy letters abound in contradictions and absurdity. Thou, in whose Adoration there is no
impurity, whose love is purely intellectual, who is affected only by the graces of the
Mind, is it in the bosom of thy Mistress, or in the folds of her handkerchief that
thou reachest, with so much eagerness, for the object of thy passion. Is the Soul
to which only you seek to be united, susceptible of Sight and touch? Be a little
more cautious for the future. Consider before you before write, whether the language
which you are about to use be reconciliable with the diallect of former letters,
and congratulate yourself in her knowing that I do not ‸ account inconsistency in a lover
any proof of insincerity. But yet I suppose you will not denye that it is somewhat
‸ embarrassing to be detected in a manifest and glaring contradiction, and that it may be useful
to exhibit in your letters as exact a conformity of Sentiment as possible, and though
I shall expect that the divine Enthusiast, who clothes his Mistress with the
attributes of divinity, and fixes his affections only on the Animating mind
will forbear to expatiate with so much ardor, on external beauties, and the Symme
=try and whiteness which furnishes so ravishing a banquet to licentious eyes
But art thou serious when thou prohibitest my eyes from wandering from
thy person? I should be glad to know in what manner thou intendest to enforce thy
prohibition, and whether it would be criminal to fix them for a moment
on the starry firmament, or lift them in gratitude or devotion to the father of the
father of the Universe, though my impatient friend should happen to be present,
and can you vow, that the ‸ white veil of decency, will not elude your penetration, and that
the whiter bosom, notwithstanding all your efforts ‸ would not
[gap]
be invisible, but I am affraid that
your curiosity cannot be eluded but by a thicker texture than ordinary. I therefore
propose to procure a woollen habit, and wrap myself ‸ up in it like a Nun, as soon as you
appear. To show according to the turkish fashion, a Veil over my face, and leave you
to search in this intellectual and interior habitation for that soul of which you are
so violently enamoured. I suppose my plan will receive your concurrence, and doubtless
you will readily procure the stuff for me, and if I make the request, will you
you not yourself be the workman, who will make it up in the Manner which
I shall direct: I will not however be exorbitant in my demand, or require so severe a
proof of your obedience, and will only tell you that you will please me more in
proportion as you talk less of Handkerchiefs and bosoms.
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