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How arrogant & how ungrateful was, I, to recieve thus
gloomily, the offer of thy heart, because thy delicate
discretion refused to join with it, thy hand!

The latter gift, my own discretion would induce me
to refuse, now; & why should I seek to fetter thy future
conduct by promises or obligations which are to operate
in remote futurity?

I may never have the competence which would justify
me in demanding thee of thy friends. Having that
competence, there may ^‸be other objections which, to them, may
be insuperable, & to expect from thee a conduct independant
of their will; that thou wilt prefer my happiness to theirs
my experience of my own demerits tells me is absurd

Let me then, after a severe struggle, obtain the victory
over my selfishness & vanity. Let all my glowing hopes
become cold. Let all my consolation be collected into this; that,
while I live, thou wilt grant me as much of thy kindness
& thy company as possible; & that, when I die, an event
which I neither expect nor desire to be remote, thou, my
better angel, wilt consecrate, at least, one generous tear
to my ashes.~

______ . ______
Prescribe to me, explicitly, the limits within which I must circum
=scribe my visits. I need not say, that I cannot wantonly subject
you to vexation or distress. My wishes shall, in every thing, be made
to bow to your convenience~